Ever read the story of Gideon?
Go on, I'll wait. It's short (unless you want the introduction and conclusion, in which case you'll have to read a couple chapters. worth it.).
Yeah. That's me with this whole "going home for a visit" thing. I've been trying--first passively and then actively--since Thanksgiving. Each time a new date/plane/
cheap cabbie gracious relative came up, I would get my hopes up and pray, "Oh God, this would be a great time for me to go home. Thank you for working out the details." And then the details would get all messed up, and I would find myself on the couch, leaking disappointed and frustrated tears into my knitting/hot chocolate/sleeping child's hair. Right before Christmas, I started to get it. I even told my dr. cuz that "I'm finally learning that God will probably let me do what I want if I force the issue...It'll just be an uphill struggle with many setbacks and detours and headaches until I finally realize that I'm going the wrong way and stop and ask for directions. Maybe one day I'll ask and then wait for an answer before I set off..."
After hitting "send" on that email and copying the words into my journal, I ruminated on them for a few days until slowly my prayers turned to "Ok, God, here's all the possible routes; I've marked them clearly on this paper for you, along with the pros and cons of each. Any directions you'd like to highlight?" And then I packed my bags again and waited. Nothing. Just more "no exit" signs that I chose to read as "detour" or "decreased speed ahead" for weeks.
This weekend was my last attempt(s). The suitcases are still in the car, but even before I made the last call to the terminal to check availability of seats I knew I was not going anywhere. God wants me here right now. I don't know why he doesn't want my family to see the youngest outlaw and reacquaint themselves with his older brother, but I DO know that I am ok with taking a backseat and enjoying the view. I am not putting out any more fleeces, and I am not forcing the issue. Bring on the chocolate and the knitting (no tears this time).
ps: Here we are, together for the long haul. pic not exactly related to post, but whatever.
Prez Palace:
...the important thing to realize here is that HE is reading ME Are You My Mother, not the other way around. Complete with proper inflection and timing.
...we are just beginning to play actual games, wherein one follows directions and takes turns. Funny aside: When we were done playing I said, "Look at that long train of dominoes!" and tonka immediately ran to get his train for the track. Ever the literalist.
...About once a week I run the dishwasher and tonka's job is to sort the clean silverware. He does a pretty good job, and is NOT happy if I try to do it myself behind his back.
...This was supposed to be a lid matching activity, but after matching all of the lids to their respective containers, tonka decided it should become a pouring activity. Next time I'll add water and get out the little ceramic pitcher.
... P is for Patrick. First time I've ever asked him to trace a letter, and I am quite impressed. He decided to use every color marker--blue first and brown last--and his attention span was exactly 8 markers long.
The very first pic
EP playing on the floor
'Fer's "scrunchie" face
'Fer and momma
Dad and the "killer dog"
The sad thing about this photo is that every one in it is stone sober. Just because you have a good camera doesn't mean you take good pictures.
at the Amphitheatre in Taormina
View from the Amphitheatre
Eating paninis
Mom and Dad in the Godfather church
D&E in front of the church
Dad and Adam in front of the Godfather Bar
ps: the stripes still bug me (click to see Tonka at 8m), but boy are these pants bulletproof. Thanks again, E!
all the better to bite you with, my dear:
staring contest ('fer won):
love the ears:
