good morning

couldn't pick my favorite (from yesterday actually), so I decided to post them all.
ps: the stripes still bug me (click to see Tonka at 8m), but boy are these pants bulletproof. Thanks again, E!

"today" in 4000+ words

flowers for you:
all the better to bite you with, my dear:
staring contest ('fer won):
love the ears:

Reading the Fleece

Ever read the story of Gideon? Go on, I'll wait. It's short (unless you want the introduction and conclusion, in which case you'll have to read a couple chapters. worth it.).

Yeah. That's me with this whole "going home for a visit" thing. I've been trying--first passively and then actively--since Thanksgiving. Each time a new date/plane/cheap cabbie gracious relative came up, I would get my hopes up and pray, "Oh God, this would be a great time for me to go home. Thank you for working out the details." And then the details would get all messed up, and I would find myself on the couch, leaking disappointed and frustrated tears into my knitting/hot chocolate/sleeping child's hair. Right before Christmas, I started to get it. I even told my dr. cuz that "I'm finally learning that God will probably let me do what I want if I force the issue...It'll just be an uphill struggle with many setbacks and detours and headaches until I finally realize that I'm going the wrong way and stop and ask for directions. Maybe one day I'll ask and then wait for an answer before I set off..."
After hitting "send" on that email and copying the words into my journal, I ruminated on them for a few days until slowly my prayers turned to "Ok, God, here's all the possible routes; I've marked them clearly on this paper for you, along with the pros and cons of each. Any directions you'd like to highlight?" And then I packed my bags again and waited. Nothing. Just more "no exit" signs that I chose to read as "detour" or "decreased speed ahead" for weeks.
This weekend was my last attempt(s). The suitcases are still in the car, but even before I made the last call to the terminal to check availability of seats I knew I was not going anywhere. God wants me here right now. I don't know why he doesn't want my family to see the youngest outlaw and reacquaint themselves with his older brother, but I DO know that I am ok with taking a backseat and enjoying the view. I am not putting out any more fleeces, and I am not forcing the issue. Bring on the chocolate and the knitting (no tears this time).

ps: Here we are, together for the long haul. pic not exactly related to post, but whatever.