the Addict vs. the Eunuch

...at least that's what both my mom and my dad thought I was saying when I told them the title for my next post. I am sure that there is an interesting blog attached to that title, but I am SO not going there. Instead, I present the REAL topic of the day:

the Attic vs. the Unit

Now, I've been the Queen of the Attic in the North for almost as long as I can remember, and let me tell you, it's a queendom that leaves much to be desired. After a yearly census and ritual cleansing of the Attic one year, I decided to throw caution to the wind, get married, and conquer a new and foreign land known as the Unit in the South. I must say, it was a wonderful success. Upon removing the last of my belongings from the Attic territory, I gleefully reluctantly cerimoniously relinquished control of the land and passed the throne on to my unsuspecting "little" brother, and contemplated all I would do with the Unit upon my return to the South. (ps: since then, I have been asked to reassume my position on the throne to the North every single time I pass through the forgotten realm, but thus far I have remained strong)
When my mother, the original--albeit sneezy--Queen of the Attic, ventured into unknown (for her) yet very familiar (for me) territory recently, she did it out of love for her grandson-to-be. Her gift arrived at the Unit in the South this past weekend and I, as the residing ruler, was there to receive it. Armed with only a bottle of iced coffee, some water, and a few triscuit-cheese-pepperoni sandwiches, I set to work introducing the new residents to the local villages within the Unit. The sweet sounds of the radio drifting from my car, and I made great headway.
After two hours of hard work, I realized that those sweet sounds had ceased, and so I called in my reinforcement and his Not Dead truck battery. While we waited, I updated him on the status of the new settlement, and by then it was time to send him on his way. I was determined to finish what I had started, and two hours later I stood at the entrance to my domain and declared, "It is Finished. Well, at least this part is. I'll get to the rest eventually." With that, I departed: sweaty, dirty, and desperate for a water closet. Just another day in the life of a Storage Queen.

Below is the summation of my internal debate as to which land I'd rather be ruling. I'll leave it to you savages from another realm to decide for yourselves which is the better opportunity, for I must admit I am about to fly the coop once again. While Prince Tim may retain control of the Attic (and that is highly debatable) the Unit will be up for grabs very soon.


Attic:
+toilet is 5 feet from the entrance
-ceiling is 5 feet at the peak
+slave labor is readily available
-2 little hanging lightbulbs max, NO ventilation
+only as hot as NY ever gets

Unit:
-toilet is 5 miles away
+ceiling is 10 feet all the way across
-slave labor is nonexistant
+an entire doorway open to the light and "fresh" air
-as hot AND humid as MS ever gets


Hmm, I'm sure there were more pros and cons floating around in my head, but for the present moment they escape me. At any rate, I now have a bunch of baby clothes, and they are all sorted and ready-to-go. I even have a dresser to put them in. :) Yay for my mom, and yay for being able to cross one more thing off my to-do-before-the-baby-comes list. Apparantly they're taking up a pot at D's workplace re: the imminent arrival, and my doc has started using words like "drop" and "dilate," so the pressure's on (get it?). Soon, there will be a new prince in town. Good thing there won't be any Storage to be had where we're going, because I daresay he'll need a few years of training before taking on that kind of quest.