The Dumpster, A Reprise

2 gift bags, frisbee, canned air, mini "toasting" cups, paper reinforcers, happy birthday hats and candles, potpourri, marble (?) bracelet

fan, alarm clock, pet sawdust, binder, clip, wide tape, batteries

plastic ware, revere teapot (new), pyrex, foil baking sheets (new-a bunch), coffee filters, farberware steamer, insulated cup

5 new in box tubes of toothpaste, brand new vitamins, etc.

towels, sheets, mattress pad, wash cloths, dishcloths, bath mat sets

size 12 adidas (not great), size 15 new balance (great), new socks, fancy purse

And that's not counting clothes that the kids are wearing, fancy shampoo they can't keep their hands off of, and all the stuff Emily brought home.
(yes I wash it and no it's not all going to stay here. The size 15 sneaks are spoken for, thanks to Little Brenda. Wonder if Pat knows which of his past co-workers I'm referring to)

Reprise

Reprise: a recurrence, renewal, or resumption of an action

Hold that thought.

(BTW, anyone else think the "i" was supposed to be a "long" "i"?)

I am getting good at this letter business...

MOM- what do you think?

(our address here)

Customer Service Supervisor: Steve
LocalNet
287 Commerce Dr.
Amherst, NY 14228

Dear Supervisor:

I am writing to formally cancel my LocalNet subscription that was requested and subsequently canceled on 30 May 2005. This is also my formal request for complete reimbursement for monies paid.

My mother, Brenda XXXXXXXX, has been a loyal subscriber to LocalNet for the past three years. She has recommended your company to many families in our area. When my grandmother, Carol XXXXXXXX, became interested in using the internet, your company was the best candidate. My mother called your company to set up the connection, and I made arrangements to pay with my Visa debit card. Before the transaction was complete, we both attempted to confirm with the customer service representative (Jenna) that the dial-up number would be a local number, and she informed us that this was the case. We were informed that the installation disk would be sent in the mail, and we could begin using our internet connection after we had registered. We were also told that we could cancel our subscription at any time.

When my mother went home, she connected to LocalNet to verify all of the information we had received, and discovered that it would NOT be a local call for my grandmother to connect to the internet. Within an hour of the initial transaction, she and I both tried to call and cancel the subscription, and were informed that we could send our request to the billing department, and they would do a “credit review” to determine whether or not we should be reimbursed, and that part of that fee was non-refundable. This surprised me, because we had not made use of the internet service yet, and would be unable to do so until the cd was received in the mail later in the week. I had assumed that if one of the terms of the agreement that is in all of your advertisements (a local number) could not be met that the agreement would be void. Also, I was informed that the money had already been taken out of my account, and therefore was nonrefundable. My bank was closed on Memorial Day, and they informed me that at the time this letter was written, the money still had not been taken out of my account, so that previous statement made by two of your representatives, Nathan and Monica, was incorrect. I was informed by your representatives that I would not receive any communication regarding this matter unless I sought it out, and because your phone conversations are not recorded, your representative could not confirm that I had been given misinformation.

I am confident that your billing department will work to give me and my family complete satisfaction in resolving this issue, including a full reimbursement of monies paid. We have been fully satisfied with your company thus far, and it would be a disappointment if we now had to retract both our recommendation of your company and my mother’s subscription. I look forward to your quick attention in this matter.

Sincerely,

Emily XXXXXXXX Brenda XXXXXXXX

A book series I am enjoying

(critical to have books when you're ignoring important stuff)
The first one in the series is A Penny for Your Thoughts by Mindy Starns Clark. It is Christian ("inspirational") fiction with some love and mystery. It can be borrowed from the Houghton Church Library, if you can't get it from your own local inter-loan library.

Chit Chat

Anyone else finding themselves randomly throwing the word "chit" into polite conversations?

actual sample chit


actual google image hit for chit, purely for entertainment

Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: #1 chit
Pronunciation: chit(go to the site and listen to the pronounciation. Listen multiple times. Zach: don't do this at school. Tim: you either. Denise: go for it. It will do you good. Mom: don't worry, I would never do this.)
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English chitte kitten, cub
1 : CHILD
2 : a pert young woman (hmm, see Lil'Brenda's entry on the M family blog, if you dare)

Main Entry: #2 chit
Function: noun
Etymology: Hindi citthI
1 : a short letter or note; especially : a signed voucher of a small debt (as for food)
2 : a small slip of paper with writing on it (I begin to see the problem)

PS: Dan, this one's for you.

And the verdict is....

Apparently, the Navy, in all their infinite wisdom, lost my leave chit. Since I arrived in Cuba I have worked for three different chains-of-command. I think I turned in the leave chit with the first chain and through all the moves and policy changes chit was left behind. So.... I was instructed by my chief to write another request for a later date and it would be "their business" (the upper chain of command i.e. master chiefs and my company commander) and "their prerogative to deny it," but he would afford me the opportunity to take leave. All that to say I am going to try for the 26th of June through the 9th of July. Gotta love the Navy.


edited to add:

This would symbolize the navy, not Dan. Just to be clear.

So?

We got lift-off, or shall we send the dingy?

Thank you, Danny.

I watched the flag pass by one day,
It fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it,
And then he stood at ease.

I looked at him in uniform
So young, so tall, so proud,
With hair cut square and eyes alert
He'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought how many men like him
Had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil,
How many mothers' tears?

How many pilots' planes shot down?
How many died at sea
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves?
No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of Taps one night,
When everything was still,
I listened to the bugler play
And felt a sudden chill.

I wondered just how many times
That Taps had meant "Amen,"
When a flag had draped a coffin
Of a brother or a friend.

I thought of all the children,
Of the mothers and the wives,
Of fathers, sons and husbands
With interrupted lives.

I thought about a graveyard
At the bottom of the sea
Of unmarked graves in Arlington.
No, freedom isn't free.

ooh, and speaking of babies...

I got to hold a three week old yesterday :-D :-D The Nafziger's (they run Wilderness Adventures at the college, I worked with them a few summers ago) brought home little Eli (I think?) a couple of weeks ago and were back at work 5 days later. Talk about committment. I thought maybe this would help my baby cravings, but, as they say, snacking does not prevent the binge, it only prolongs it for a bit. I will definitely be volunteering to babysit on a regular basis. What a cutie...sigh... :)

dinner with the president, or, how I found Carolyn's backpack

There are several benefits to growing up near a small college town (along with several downfalls, but we won't get into that just now). Said benefits increase greatly when your grandmother's best friend happens to be the college president's wife. Yesterday, I was invited to a "small, informal" dinner to be held tonight and hosted by Mrs. Chamberlain in her wonderful home. Knowing her reputation for being a wonderful cook (she'd better be, she borrows Grandma's recipes often enough!), I accepted, of course.
Dinner was served in the main dining room on fine china (we're talking red tablecloth, candles, and two forks). The menue consisted of swiss steak, noodles, mixed vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, nut muffins with two jellies, and angel food cake with mango dressing (Grandma's contribution). Dinner topics included aids, genetics, Solzhenitsyn, international hostels, UK recipes vs. American recipes, and my cat. I heard words like locus, "son of a gun," wellingtons, and ecclesiology. I think I managed to not only keep my elbows off of the table, but to use my napkin properly and not say anything to embarrass my grandmother. All this in one "small, informal" meal? Applause and admiration are perfectly acceptable at this point.

I bowed out of the games portion of the evening, choosing instead to walk home in a vain attempt to burn a few excess calories. On the way, I saw a "Free" table in someone's front yard, so I stopped and browsed through the Reader's Digests, played with the doodle board, and sniffed the candy canes before picked a few pieces of clothing out to try on later. I decided to leave the table behind. By the time I got to the campus center, I knew it was time to bid adieu to the coffee I'd consumed mere minutes earlier, so I took a quick detour.

Something caught my eye as I exited the ladies room, and I noticed a bright pink back pack lying under the drinking fountain. Vaguely recalling that my sister had lost her backpack at some point in the recent past, I ventured a peek into the front pocket, and found a folded piece of paper with the inscription (written in pencil): "To: Carolyn, from: Devin." Now, being the protective and nosy big sister that I am, I couldn't let this opportunity to snoop pass me by. Don't worry, Carolyn, I won't tell anyone the password. And you can have your back pack back if you come and visit me.

**
This story was brought to you by the number 4 and the word "chocolate."

Dear Mom:

Please reconsider my existence. I promise to be an interesting kid, with good taste.

Love,
Brenda Latte

Peanut Butter Revisited

I am in the process of changing computers. It is a bummer. So far I have 3 browsers on my desktop: Netscape (my old fave), Safari, and Firefox. (IE was immediately dumped with neither ceremony nor gravestone). While perusing different new home pages and clocking the time to get to pages (on a slow dial-up connection, we're talking minutes rather than seconds), interesting tidbits of Important News flash by (in a mind numbingly slow sort of way).
I was delighted to see an blurb about PB:

Lose Weight on the Peanut Butter Diet

Eat 4 to 6 tablespoons of peanut butter every day. You'll lose weight and you won't be hungry. Yeah, yeah, peanut butter is loaded with calories. But it's also packed with monounsaturated fats, which Men's Health magazine calls the original death-defying potion. In fact, the magazine goes so far as to say we should all be on the Skippy Diet to reduce the risk of heart disease AND to lose weight.
Researchers at Brigham and Women's Hospital concluded that people who consumed foods that were high in monounsaturated fats, including olive oil, avocados, and peanut butter, were more likely to lose weight and keep it off than people following a more regimented, lower-fat diet. These amazing claims were backed up by researchers at Purdue University. It's really pretty simple: Peanut butter is filling. BUT. Limit your Jif Diet to no more than 6 tablespoons of the gooey stuff a day.
In case you need justification to go on the peanut butter diet, how about justifying a healthy heart? Peanut butter may just lower your risk of heart disease and stroke. Reuters reports that Italian researchers have concluded that women who consume less vitamin E may be at a far greater risk of heart disease and stroke. Vitamin E seems to protect against plaque build-up or arteriosclerosis at the carotid bifurcation, the Y-shaped branch in the arteries of the neck. And peanut butter is packed with vitamin E--along with canned salmon with the bones, canned tuna fish, olive oil, almonds, and sunflower seeds.

There was more stuff about vitamen E but to summarize take 2 of the little vitamin E softgels (total 800 IU) (less if you're keeping up with your PB) to live forever.

I could go for a Peanut Butter cookie.

The Mystery Source

Ok, I tracked down Bernie, who is Michelle's husband. Now, Michelle, if you remember is the friend of my sister-in-law Sarah. Sarah is the one who called John to make sure we knew we were expecting Brenda Latte. (Better check the tag board if that one lost you.) Everyone still following me so far? It is about to get more complicated.

Back to Bernie. I called him and asked him who told him all of this very interesting and surprising information at Alstom. The answer: Chuck Stever.

"WHO IS CHUCK STEVER???" Bernie laughed. He is the guy that drives a big truck and drives a four wheeler up here.

Now I really have a complex. "Do I look pregnant?! Wait, don't answer that." Bernie laughed some more. He wondered if he would be able to go into work the next day and harass this guy for passing on such insane information. He also gave me the price we are apparently trying to get out of this three wheeler. $1,600. Heck, I'll sell it. Only problem would be that John might get kinda upset with me if I did that. I guess I will skip that. The thought crossed my mind that this Chuck guy had some pretty detailed information for being so very wrong.

John comes home, and right on his tail is his cousin Bruce, AKA Chub.(From here on he will be referred to as Chub, so don't get lost now.) I went outside to greet my happy-to-be-expecting hubby, and said, (and I quote), "Chuck Stever." He gave me a strange look, so I repeat myself, then added "it was him! You know, Chuck, four wheeler dude" (and yes, I know what "dude"means and at this point in time had no problem using it to describe this guy.) "He is the one with the mouth!"

"Really...?" came John's reply, along with another strange look. I suppose he was probably thinking the same thing I had. Why on earth would this guy say stuff like that?! "Go smoke another one , buddy" had been one of my statements. He must be on something to come up with this stuff.

By now, Chub was getting curious as to what all this was about, so he dared to venture out and ask what in the world was going on. So John started the story, and within about 45 seconds, Chub was laughing saying, "It's true! It's all true!" Now, I thought maybe the news had found its way to him, too, and we were confirming it or something, but then he composed himself and told his side of the story.

He has a cousin named Johnny who owns a 350x and has a wife (yeah, so far so good.) This wife is pregnant and Johnny is really selling this beloved 350x for money for this little baby. (That is where it became apparent he must be talking about his other cousin. To me anyway.) So, Chub, being the wonderful cousin that he is, and knowing all of Arkport and Fremont and half of Hornell, decided to spread the word. Well, all of Arkport and Fremont and half of Hornell know the Guthrie's and know that we are related. Let your imaginations run wild. All of these people did. Chub remarked, "I guess I should have said 'Johnny Smith' instead of just 'Johnny'." Hmm, ya think?! So, needless to say, Chub has much explaining to do. You say "Johnny" and "350x" in the same sentence anywhere around here, and people automatically think of my husband. Smooth move.

So, I feel a little better. Maybe I don't look slightly pregnant after all. But, I have to admit, I was really looking forward to those parties and cards. If you already have one planned, we don't necessarily have to cancel...

Just two kids

We went to the zoo on April 25 and had a great time - and froze. Thankfully Spring seems to be here today. The kids enjoyed all of the animals and thought that it was especially fun when they got to howl with the wolves and "pet" the seals. Pictured with us are Lilac and Genny C. Apparently one of those elephants just turned 25 on Saturday. No clue which one.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!

Ok, so Johnny calls me today and tells me that he just got off the phone with his sister. I am thinking, yeah, that is nice, so....... Then next sentence is where it got good.

"Sarah told me that she was talking with a friend of hers and that friend mentioned the fact that you are pregnant (referring to me, Erin) and I (referring to John) am trying to sell my three wheeler to support the baby." Insert hysterical laughter here.

Erin: "I'm pregnant?!"

John: "Apparently so. Congratulations, honey, but just to let you know, I am NOT selling my three wheeler to support this kid. You will just have to have it at home. I will find a bucket of hot water, a pair of sissors and a shoe string. Good luck with that."

Now, just to keep everyone up to date here, I AM NOT PREGNANT. Yes, I am sure. Very sure.

Now, after John and I laughed our goodbyes and congratulated each other once more, I decided to call Sarah. I was after all curious as to where this rumor originated from. Sarah got a phone call from Michelle who asked, why didn't you tell me your sister-in-law is pregnant?? Sarah told her that was the first she had heard about it. So how did Michelle here this? Michelle's husband Bernie was approached by someone at work (Alstom) and given the happy news, so he, of course, phoned his wife and asked her why she didn't tell him rather than having him find out about it at work? We have yet to find out who the mystery source is at Alstom. Everyone who was involved was very surprised and wondered why they didn't actually hear the news from John and I, but my thing is, I had to hear it from someone else, and this is MY pretend baby.

And on that note, since I am apparently joyously expecting this pretend baby, do I get all those fun showers and parties that accompany a baby? Maybe instead of baby things, everyone could just bring cards with money in them. :) Sounds like a plan to me. I should get SOMETHING out of this deal. I am, after all, the one that has to carry and care for this pretend baby.

They made us touch each other

and we have yet to forgive them.

saturday night in houghton

we missed the underclassmen move-out day, but the seniors are leaving TODAY, which means mom and I will be here.

maybe we'll make a photojournal. or not. some things should be kept secret. Me hiding from former classmates behind a dumpster while mom openly scrounges for unopened food containers is one of them.

edited to add: yeah, so that scenario described above was supposed to be "worst-case, doesn't ever happen" scenario. And guess what? it happened. Tim said the guy, who was in several of my freshman level classes, was staring at me the whole way to his apartment. OH, the irony.

Let's all look for Dan in the background*

60 Minutes
CBS May 1, 7:00pm EST
Series/Talk

A former Army translator talks about the interrogation process used at Guantanamo Bay; archaeologists find bones of what appears to be a previously unknown species of human; actress Goldie Hawn.

Original Airdate: May 1, 2005.

*and knit during the other segments. Or something.


edited to add:
Let me be the first to say: "Let's not and say we didn't." Just didn't want anyone break their tongue with such a snappy comeback.