Years ago, when Tonka was getting ready to wean, my mother had some sage words: "pay attention. You never know when the last time you nurse him will be."So I did. I remember the way I held him, the place we were, and the mix of relief and loss I felt when I realized days later that we were officially "done." He was about 20 months old, and I was just a few months away from having his brother, Monkey. A new nursling who in just 2 months will officially be a two-year old. My mother's words are echoing in my ear again, and again I feel a mix of relief and loss. Now when we nurse, it is only for a few minutes (or seconds, when something more interesting comes along...like a camera!), and there is no more milk. A day or two will go by, and I will think, "is this it?" or, "I said no to him last time, will there be another?"
Moments like this afternoon, when he asks and I oblige, are precious to me and well worth documenting. I love that connection we have, and I love that Monkey's brother is a very close (ha!) part of that connection. While we sit, I relax, pray, and remember that though my boys are growing up there will soon be another newborn in my arms, and the cycle will continue.
