The Mystery Source

Ok, I tracked down Bernie, who is Michelle's husband. Now, Michelle, if you remember is the friend of my sister-in-law Sarah. Sarah is the one who called John to make sure we knew we were expecting Brenda Latte. (Better check the tag board if that one lost you.) Everyone still following me so far? It is about to get more complicated.

Back to Bernie. I called him and asked him who told him all of this very interesting and surprising information at Alstom. The answer: Chuck Stever.

"WHO IS CHUCK STEVER???" Bernie laughed. He is the guy that drives a big truck and drives a four wheeler up here.

Now I really have a complex. "Do I look pregnant?! Wait, don't answer that." Bernie laughed some more. He wondered if he would be able to go into work the next day and harass this guy for passing on such insane information. He also gave me the price we are apparently trying to get out of this three wheeler. $1,600. Heck, I'll sell it. Only problem would be that John might get kinda upset with me if I did that. I guess I will skip that. The thought crossed my mind that this Chuck guy had some pretty detailed information for being so very wrong.

John comes home, and right on his tail is his cousin Bruce, AKA Chub.(From here on he will be referred to as Chub, so don't get lost now.) I went outside to greet my happy-to-be-expecting hubby, and said, (and I quote), "Chuck Stever." He gave me a strange look, so I repeat myself, then added "it was him! You know, Chuck, four wheeler dude" (and yes, I know what "dude"means and at this point in time had no problem using it to describe this guy.) "He is the one with the mouth!"

"Really...?" came John's reply, along with another strange look. I suppose he was probably thinking the same thing I had. Why on earth would this guy say stuff like that?! "Go smoke another one , buddy" had been one of my statements. He must be on something to come up with this stuff.

By now, Chub was getting curious as to what all this was about, so he dared to venture out and ask what in the world was going on. So John started the story, and within about 45 seconds, Chub was laughing saying, "It's true! It's all true!" Now, I thought maybe the news had found its way to him, too, and we were confirming it or something, but then he composed himself and told his side of the story.

He has a cousin named Johnny who owns a 350x and has a wife (yeah, so far so good.) This wife is pregnant and Johnny is really selling this beloved 350x for money for this little baby. (That is where it became apparent he must be talking about his other cousin. To me anyway.) So, Chub, being the wonderful cousin that he is, and knowing all of Arkport and Fremont and half of Hornell, decided to spread the word. Well, all of Arkport and Fremont and half of Hornell know the Guthrie's and know that we are related. Let your imaginations run wild. All of these people did. Chub remarked, "I guess I should have said 'Johnny Smith' instead of just 'Johnny'." Hmm, ya think?! So, needless to say, Chub has much explaining to do. You say "Johnny" and "350x" in the same sentence anywhere around here, and people automatically think of my husband. Smooth move.

So, I feel a little better. Maybe I don't look slightly pregnant after all. But, I have to admit, I was really looking forward to those parties and cards. If you already have one planned, we don't necessarily have to cancel...