I have discovered something...

I don't have the power, I don't even have a clue
I don't know all the answers, I don't even know a few
And if I were really honest and the truth were known of me
It may sound a little funny, this is what my prayer would be

I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on You
I don't know what to do, but my eyes are on You
Eyes...

My eyes are on You, Lord
I don't have the power, I don't have all the anwers
But my eyes are on You, Lord
I know victo - victory is Yours, I know victo - victory is Yours
So my eyes are on You

My eyes are on You
I lift my eyes toward the heavens and tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast of my condition, Lord
You're the God and I'm the man, You're the God and I'm the man
I lift my eyes toward the heavens and tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast of my condition, Lord
You're the God and I'm the man

You, oh Lord are God
You, oh Lord are God over this city, oh God
You, oh Lord are God, You, Lord
Mighty Warrior, Mighty warrior, Victorious One
Come help us boast in our condition, Lord
We wait on You, Lord
Mighty angels, mighty angels go before us

You're the God, oh Lord,You're the Almighty God
You're the awesome, powerful militant Lord
Victory is Yours, oh Lord, Victory is Yours, oh Lord, Victory is Yours, oh Lord
Victory is Yours, oh Lord, Victory is Yours, oh Lord, Victory is Yours, oh Lord
You are God, oh God, You are Lord, oh Lord, You are King, oh King
You are King

Rejoicing, rejoicing, rejoicing, victory is the Lords
Rejoicing, rejoicing, rejoicing, victory is the Lord's
Rejoicing, rejoicing, rejoicing, victory is the Lord's
Dancing and singing, dancing and singing, dancing and singing
Victory is yours oh Lord, victory, victory is Yours
Yes, oh Lord, yes oh Lord
Dancing and singing, victory is Yours
Victory!

All of heaven rejoices, all of heaven rejoices, all of heaven rejoices

~Jason Upton

And that discovery is this: If you answer that call from God to truly chase after Him and step out and do what He has called you to do, you will get bombarded on every angle. For a few weeks, I have had all I can do to sleep. That can make coping with little kids tough. John has been physically hurt in the last couple weeks and that makes his job at the airport tough and drumming at church hard, too. I didn't give it too much thought, but knew that we werw being attacked. This morning we discovered that we had been NAILED in our finances. I knew that we were going to be attacked because we have taken a stand and said, enough with the complacency, it is time to obey and have started praying every morning and really chasing God and trying to follow His call. I never thought that an attack would come on the finances. I called John in tears and told him of the very substantial mistake in our account and his response was, "have you been praying?" Uh, yeah, pleading all day is probably more like it. He clarified - have I been praying daily. Oh, yes. Well, from now on, we need to be praying over our finances. We are being attacked. Oh yeah, never thought Satan would go THERE. Bad underestimation on my part as well as very bad on my part for the mistake to begin with. If we are hurt financially, it is that much harder for us to step out and minister. Money is not everything - not even close, but some of the things we feel called to do require money, so of course we will be attacked there. Even after I talked with John a few more times, and continued praying, I just wanted to crawl under a rock and never come out. I felt so devestated. Beaten. Stupid. The song on the top of this blog came on, and at the beginning of it, I just cried and cried. Oh God, can you hear me? I DON'T know what to do, I felt frustrated, cornered, stuck. But my eyes are on You. Help me, Oh God. I poured out my heart and sang that song. Then halfway through, the music changes, and rather than, oh help, it is, yes, YOU ARE GOD! YOU ARE VICTORIOUS!! The numbers in my checkbook did not miraculously change, but my outlook did. I can withstand this, and My God is more powerful than this!! Rather than weeping, I am praising. I know I must be on the right track. Satan wouldn't bother with little old me if I was no threat. And my God is big enough to handle this. He has promised to take care of me, anyway. If my problems are His problems, than this is His problem. (The bank sees it as my problem, but I know that my God is in control, so I won't fret. It will work out.)
I discovered that the more you pray and the deeper you go, the harder you will be hit. But, the more time you spend on your knees and the closer you get to God, the more prepared you are for those attacks. I have learned where my victory is. I am learning to put my armor on every morning. John (yep, mine!) spoke on this a couple Sundays ago - whew!! It was the day after he took a day off from praying. His outlook was, it's Saturday, no biggie. That was the day that his brand new motorcycle fell over and he yanked his shoulder out trying to stop it. Satan doesn't take Saturdays off. He did not get up that morning and pray protection over our family and himself. He didn't put on his armor. Perhaps sounding a bit like a Frank Peretti book? Maybe, but I know that it is true...
The belt of truth, so I will live a life of integrety, speak the truth and be able to listen to the truth and discern what is true and false. The breastplate of righteousness - it protects my heart, and represents the walk that I want to have. The shoes of the preparation of the gospel of peace. I want to walk in peace, and by standing on the gospel and on the promises God has given me, I have peace, no matter what may be accosting me. The shield of faith - as long as my faith is in God, nothing the enemy shoots at me can kill me. The helmet of salvation - I protect my mind, which is probably my weakest point. Satan can do so much to me and defeat me so easily when I listen to him and believe the lies he whispers in my ear. But with the helmet, I protect my mind. And the sword of the Spirit - so important! All the other pieces are defensive pieces, but the sword is my one offensive piece. With God's Word, I can do so much warfare! Just by speaking His Word and standing on it, I can defeat the enemy! Bring it, I'm ready....
Finally, my bretheren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the the wiles of the devil. For we do not westle against flesh and flood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of this darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication fro all the saints. Ephesians 6: 10 - 19