Yeah. That's me with this whole "going home for a visit" thing. I've been trying--first passively and then actively--since Thanksgiving. Each time a new date/plane/
After hitting "send" on that email and copying the words into my journal, I ruminated on them for a few days until slowly my prayers turned to "Ok, God, here's all the possible routes; I've marked them clearly on this paper for you, along with the pros and cons of each. Any directions you'd like to highlight?" And then I packed my bags again and waited. Nothing. Just more "no exit" signs that I chose to read as "detour" or "decreased speed ahead" for weeks.
This weekend was my last attempt(s). The suitcases are still in the car, but even before I made the last call to the terminal to check availability of seats I knew I was not going anywhere. God wants me here right now. I don't know why he doesn't want my family to see the youngest outlaw and reacquaint themselves with his older brother, but I DO know that I am ok with taking a backseat and enjoying the view. I am not putting out any more fleeces, and I am not forcing the issue. Bring on the chocolate and the knitting (no tears this time).
ps: Here we are, together for the long haul. pic not exactly related to post, but whatever.
7 comments:
I love you. Way more to say on this... perhaps best in an email or phone conversation. I am sorry that the whole root reason (insane distance) for the initial tears in the knitting/hot chocolate/sleeping child's hair keeps me from sitting beside you while you cry and holding your hand or stroking your back. BUT, God will be glorified and all relatives, Granny Boo too! will meet the littlest and reacquaint with Tonka in God's best timing and in the best possible way. xoxo
P.S. Thanks for the pic that has nothing to do with the post. :) It's perfect for framing and displaying prominently in the living room where it can be seen many times throughout the day. :)
heh, I snagged the picture also, though no computer at this point to print. I called dad, Tim, and Pat and they are all crying and wailing and beating the walls. Very messy. Obviously I am handling it better than that. Someone has to be a good example.
will send package. possibly with little pieces of my heart.
(you said on your message that I got a couple of days for grumping, right?)
GB
I'm so sorry you didn't make the flight. =( I went through a couple of similar times. I wanted to go home in August, prayed about it, and God was simply telling me no. I think it's easier here for God to have his will concerning our trips, because we can't just jump in our cars and have it our way anyway. The distance is so hard. Just know that you will be home soon, and at the perfectly right time.
Sorry to hear you can't make it home, but as Pastor often says, sometimes we have to just cooperate with the inevitable. Anyway, what a great picture of "the fam". I agree w/Mrs Guthrie - need to print like an 8" x 10" and frame it!
Oh M. I'm tearing up with you and praying that God brings you unspeakable joy and shows you quickly the reason for keeping you there - I'm praying, and I love you and I'm hugging you....and FYI should the door open and you need a lift from a certain airport to a certain town, you know where I live and you have my phone number.
I love you, and wish I could do more, but I also know that the biggest thing we can all do is lift you and your family to Jesus, thank God for his wisdom, and ask for him to show the next steps...and maybe even grant a why...
I'll be praying for you while I crochet on the soon coming nephew's (she's scheduled for Feb. 17) blanket.
love you girlie, and the pic is amazing.
thanks for the post-I was finally able to copy YOUR words into MY journal! great post! great pic! I need to send you our pastors thoughts for a weds this week-very apropro (or however it's spelled!) ;)
HUGS,
the doc ;)
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